Wednesday, June 11, 2008

HUMANITY - The Retarded Species


Well aren't we screwed now!
Fuel prices grind forever upward, the world slowly decends into anarchy as people begin to panic, starve, loose work, all due to fuel prices.

Residents of little country towns now whinging about the cost of fuel making it impossible to do the weekly jaunt to main cities for their shopping. Shopping that will now cost lots more than it did this time last year, meaning there is less in the trolley when you get there.
Well you stupid bastards, see that overgrown length of railway track in the middle of your town. That used to be used by trains, you could once catch a train from there at quite a good price and head to that same capital city.
Well that was until your retarded government of the day decided that your taxes were not to be spent on things to serve the general public, and that these general public serving things should be dumped if they do not rake in heaps of dollars.

You demented fools!

You great tools!

What have you done?


Thousands of kilometres of disused railways once used as a public service, but all now rusting away. Even viable propositions like reopening Tumut thrown in the 'to hard' or 'to expensive' baskets.

Lets not look at countries desperately trying to restore lots of their long closed lines - lets just keep our collective heads up our collective bums and just wait for the day of damnation that is fast approaching us all.

You stinky nad shavings!

Fuel: The Mass Debate


Fuel: The Mass Debate

Or How to Knock About 50c a Litre Off the Price Of Fuel

First and foremost this debate should be centred on Diesel NOT Unleaded. Why? You may ask. Just look at the increase in supermarket prices for your answer. While it may cost you $5 or $10 extra to fill your tank everything that is transported (which is everything) rises as Diesel rises. My average basket at the supermarket per week has increased on average $30 and that’s for one person. Australia’s whole economy is tied to Diesel and therefore it should be afforded the same priority and status as water i.e. an essential commodity.

I own a small transport company and I have had to significantly raise my prices twice in the past year just to maintain profit margins. This cost you money too.

I am compelled to write this letter because I am sick of all the namby-pamby pussyfooting around everyone seems to be doing about the current fuel debate. I have spent considerable time researching this area because it affects my income. Contained herein is the WHOLE truth about the debate, the WHOLE big picture, if you will. NO-ONE till now has had the testicular fortitude to stick their necks out and present the WHOLE argument about just how much we are being RIPPED OFF. If you want the truth and the WHOLE truth read on.

DON’T – Listen to spin doctors from the oil companies. THEY HAVE A VESTED INTREST TO KEEP FUEL PRICES HIGH.

DON’T – Listen to the government – state or federal. THEY HAVE A VESTED INTREST TO KEEP FUEL PRICES HIGH.

DON’T – pay too much attention to news or current affairs programs. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN AGENDAS.

So here we go, how to make fuel cheaper!

FIRSTLY – DISBAND FUEL PARITY

Parity, for those that don’t know, is government sanctioned price fixing (simple as that). Parity allows fuel companies to sell their products for the highest current price they find in the Asia Pacific region. It completely disregards supply and demand economics and eliminates any need for competition amongst themselves.

Don’t believe me? Just look at the price of Diesel. If you remember growing up when Diesel was always 10-15c p/l cheaper than Petrol you might understand this more.

How can a product that costs far less to produce (partially a by-product of producing Unleaded as well) and a product that Australia uses more of than any other fuel be MORE EXPENSIVE than Unleaded? Simple, ring Singapore, where they don’t use a lot of Diesel and import all their fuel, find out how much it’s selling for there and charge the same here – sound fair? NOT!

Any other industry who tried this one would be hauled of to the High Court quick smart and prosecuted for price fixing! Oh but hang on, our government ALLOWS them to do this

NUMBER TWO – BARRELL PRICE

That price the news loves to show us each night is the PREMIUM GRADE crude oil price. Australian oil companies DO NOT buy PREMIUM GRADE crude oil! In fact Australia produces around 70% of its own oil and imports about 30%. The cost of production per litre produced here is cheaper than that of imported fuel, but in no way is this factored into the pump price, because they don’t need to (SEE PARITY ABOVE) we pay a pump price based on PREMIUM GRADE crude oil price the same as if we imported all of it, say somewhere like Singapore! Starting to get the picture?

NUMBER THREE – LEVIES

Everyone knows that both State and Federal Governments take a large slice of the cost of a litre of fuel. This equates in total to about 46% of the price per litre. This money is used for infrastructure, road trauma etc. etc. so fair enough right? WRONG!

What is wrong is that it is a PERCENATGE! Look at this. If a litre of fuel costs $1.00 then the Government gets 46c p/l, right? A week later fuel rises to $1.10 p/l; the Government gets 50.6c p/l, bingo! Something tells me that in one week, their costs, IN NO WAY have gone up 9%!

As I stated previously – THE GOVERNMENT HAS A VESTED INTREST TO KEEP FUEL PRICES HIGH. THEY MAKE LOTS MORE FREE MONEY! Why else do they allow fuel companies to maintain PARITY?

If they changed the tax (sorry, levy) to a flat rate tied to the GDP then the fuel price would drop drastically and immediately!

NUMBER FOUR – GST - THE DOUBLE DIPP

Now this one is outright 'THIEVERY' and also applies to cigarettes and alcohol.

GST = Goods and Services Tax, correct?

46% or 46c in every dollar in the price of a litre of fuel is TAX (sorry; again, LEVY).

What part of LEVY is a good or a service? YOU CANNOT TAX, TAX RIGHT? WRONG!

You do the math.

Say fuel costs $1.00 p/l – the GST component = 9c

But hang on a minute 46% or 46c of this is TAX!

i.e., 4.14c of the GST is ILLEGALLY CHARGED ON THE TAX COMPONENT! Not much you say?

FOR EVERY LITRE SOLD IN AUSTRALIA EVERY DAY!

That equates to millions of free dollars for the Government! I’ll say it one more time - THE GOVERNMENT HAS A VESTED INTREST TO KEEP FUEL PRICES HIGH. THEY MAKE LOTS MORE FREE MONEY!

The GST on fuel should be 5.4% not 10%. At $1.75 p/l this would drop the current price by around 8c p/l.

Feeling a little annoyed? You should be!

Even without disbanding parity and introducing real competition among fuel companies, you should be paying about 40c less per litre!

My name is Graeme Strempel, gusto1@arach.net.au and I run a small transport business, I happily welcome anyone, Government and fuel companies included to prove me wrong.

If you feel strongly about this issue then pass this missive on to everyone in your address book. Eventually someone might take notice.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sexy Back - Colonel Timberlake


Colonel Sexy Back lyrics

[Verse 1]
I'm bringing sexy back
Them other poofta bastards don't know how to act
I’m worshipped when pissed and on my back
I’m 10 inches long on the slack.
Take em' to the bridge

[Bridge]
Burma babe
Put on some boots
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no poofta bastard makes me feel this way


[Chorus]
I’m not pissed
Go ahead, be gone with it
Twas only 3 bottles of Bundy
Go ahead, be gone with it
Burrrrrrrrp
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Korrrrrr look at that bitta skirt
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those breasticals
Go ahead, be gone with it
Shit the wife is coming
Go ahead, be gone with it
Lets get some Tallies
Go ahead, be gone with it
Shit – I’m gonna spew
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it

[X6]
Get your sexy on


I'm bringing sexy back
Them other foamers all crave my crack
Come let me get in your daks
Yep, I’m 10 inches on the slack
Take em' to the bridge


I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys want to squeeze my rack
If that's your foamer you better watch your back
Cause he'll want a bit of Colonel crack.





Monday, May 5, 2008

THE TOOL SHED




GLORIFYING A FLAMIN TOOL!


Some things in life piss me off even more than a late running Namoi Cotton train on a winters afternoon.

One of these things is THE PRIZE TOOL appearing on Big Brother the other night. No I don't mean that irritating pain in the arse Kyle (surprisingly - although he ain't far behind). I mean that buttpipe nugget Corey flaming Worthington.

Do we now, as a society, worship those who stick their finger up at society?
Its apparently OK to waste police resources, trash your parents house, strike fear into your whole street - BECAUSE NOW YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH HUGE AMOUNTS OF DOLLARS FOR TELEVISION APPEARANCES.
Yet woh-behold any poor bastard railfan turning up at Dubbo station with a beer in one hand and a camera in the other. Heck no - Officer plod is straight on you dragging you to the station or sticking his trungeon up orifaces best lst trungeonless.

Well on you go people. Run riot, screw this country over, stick your thumb up at the law.
At the end of it, give the Big Brother producers a call. THEY WANT TO BLOODY REWARD YOU!

Onya Kyle, you have proved that my opinion of you could get lower.
What happened to the good old BB days of lesbianism and turkey slapping.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Things got ya down?

Things Got Ya Down?

Well Then, Consider These . . .
..............................
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died
In the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
Regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
Something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve
The mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m.
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
Investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am .,
All of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside
The ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon
Was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books,
And other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Willie Johnson, the part-time
Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life
Support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

..............................

Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.

At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
Saved animals were being released back into the wild
Amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

..............................

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
Shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy,
With some kind of wire running from his waist towards
The electric kettle.

Intending to jolt him away from
The deadly current, she whacked him with a handy
Plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening
To his Walkman.

..............................
Are Ya OK Now? -

No? OK...

Two animal rights defenders were protesting
The cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse
In Bonn , Germany .

Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
Broke loose and escaped through a broken fence,
Stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
..............................

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a
Letter bomb.

It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

.....God is Good!

..............................

There now, Feeling Better????

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Hello Fellow Destroyers Of Our Planet.

You disgust me to the core of my bum tube.