Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Marrickville: Australia's next tourist hotspot.


Well fans we are on the otherside of the piss up, I mean festive season and don't you feel better after downing all those VBs (or whatever beer of choice you consume).
Each year it is kind of customary to go in search of the cheapest grog. Sydney has some great specials, its just a matter of looking and finding exactly where those sales are.
Following a tip off of cheap meat, grog and other items your beloved 'Fedupfoamer' headed to Marrickville for a bargain or two.

Perhaps the fact the old lady in the car I followed took 12 minutes to front part a Laser should have been an indication to just return to the house of residence. Silly old crow couldn't park a small car in the space I could park a bleeding 44 class.
I mean I am not one to deny elderly people their freedom, but HELLO, there is a time when one must finally admit they have no place on public roads. Yes I know the advertisment, 'The roads are there to share', but is says nothing about morons.

The first thing you notice is the lovely smell on Illawarra Road, the lovely odour mix of, what seems to be, a mixture of rotten cat carcus and Malabar sewerge works, would put many a French perfume company to shame. The only relieve came during the brief moment one got to walk past the local fish shop, an experience of such delight one felt an urgent need to celebrate with an airline chuck bag.

But the true essence of a place can be gained from its people and Marrickville certainly had a whole range of them.

Mr Hairy Old Man was the first encounter, a lovely old bloke mumbling to himself as he scavenged through a Marrickville Road garbage in search of a major festive season bonus. About 5 minutes of foraging revealed a handsome reward in the shape of a quarter bottle of Gatorade and what appeared to be a discarded piece of meat pie.
Happy with his find he wandered up the street, obviously oblivious to the existence of water, soap or deodorant in the world.

Then there was the old lady who felt the urge to scream at people as she walked down the street. Not sure what the language was, but the hatred in her eyes was certainly clear.
Perhaps she had not been given that what she needed for many years, perhaps this is what was the cause of her problems.
Perhaps even, the hairy old man could be put to use in this area and thus revitalize her reason for being.

Ahhh yes, and so we are brought to my favourite. The absolutely obesese man with his pants down as he walks. Seems this chap's thrill is to fondle while looking at guys girlfriends, wives, daughters etc. When caught he hides his personal items behind a garbage bin and continues about his business.

I suppose, like any red blooded Aussie, you are now wondering whether the grog and meat was cheap enough to make enduring Marrickville a viable option.
Nope, far cheaper in Bankstown or Burwood where both also have very few perverts and the females are a LOT easier on the eye.

Happy New Year

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